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Saturday, August 4th, 2007
12:54 am
Becoming - for the drum gods and goddesses
I imagined an old friend (family of the heart) asked me where I had been.

"I was what I was, and it attracted so many that wanted something, wanted more, or wanted me to be something for them. In the end I discovered that the who and what they wanted, was something against my nature. I know now that even those I kept in my life can't understand who I am or appreciate it." I've been dealing with some things, thinking, and trying to decide how to rebuild my life."

"What are you doing now" they asked.


"Becoming what?" they asked.

"What I was before and more. Even a tree given enough time will sprout new life. If limbs are cut new ones grow, and new life, new trees are born. Few truly understand tree medicine although everyone seems fascinated with tree concepts."

"What is the more?" they persisted in spite of knowing.

"The heartbeat calls me. I hear the call of drumbeats. I hear hand drummers from around the world with all different tones. Warm tones, crisp tones, earth shattering taps delivered by a spirit drummer calling to the universe, with such diversity the beauty can make your soul weep from the beauty. I have learned much over the years about drums and drumming. The time has come for me to do more."

"What more?" they ask.

"The becoming."
Monday, June 4th, 2007
1:41 pm
Thank you for the pollution
It's the modern world, and as if we don't have enough problems we now have new horizons for pollution.

I would like to thank all of the people who don't have souls that collect email addresses and the harmful people that then use them to flood millions of email boxes with spam we never asked for making filtering, deletion, and wary response to strangers on the internet commonplace.

When the soulless life suckers found our streams, rivers, plains, and forests were polluted enough for their own purpose they created a new form of pollution. Aggressive mind pollution engages in constantly exploring how to get past the defenses of the public and make them read what they are trying to ignore.

How many times have we logged onto the internet and had to keep a semi-blind eye cutting out boxes of text, images, and adds to register and filter out of the brain? How many times have you opened a web page only to have a add pop up that must be closed to see the text, or one with code so bad the page kind of floats uselessly for an eternal five or ten seconds when you are in the middle of a speed search?

How many times have you closed one of these adds or deleted one of these emails wondering how the creator could be so stupid they don't realize you AVOID products that use that kind of advertising? How many years might it take people to realize that both products and web pages are eventually avoided by more and more people due to such problems?

I've met the people, or some of them at least behind this counter intelligent advertising. I consider it a type of attempted mental rape, and my personal reaction over time has been to train myself to ignore most banners and adds. If they were more appropriate or less invasive I might be less prone to block out entire sections of pages when I load them.

Speaking of INVASIVE I would say currently some of the worst examples in mainstream use belong to myspace. Adds with cranked up volume, full video, and ever present unclean code on a site already known for users blatantly abusing bandwidth on their pages so they load slow to begin with.

Let's be honest here...the new graphics, video, and music plug in capabilities were the RAGE...about ten years ago, and again when broadband became popular. The problem is that because of all of the page building with no concern whatsoever for bandwidth now when you are multi-tasking your connection and computer may both be overtaxed. Does it keep up? Yes! Does it keep up fast enough to respond when you are power browsing? Of course not, that would mean it works! Who remembers years ago when if you had a broadband connection and a decent computer you could navigate the web as fast as you could click?

In any case I digress...back to the subject I started with.

Thank you very much for polluting the lives of everyone trying to use the internet you brainless advertising junkies! Someday you'll learn to start polling user reactions and realize in the long run it costs you business but hey who am I to tell you to get the hell out of my house and stay out?

My House? My computer, my connection I paid for, my email addresses, my pages...MY HOUSE

I would find a way to deal with you very unpleasantly if you put adds on my house or in my yard, and sooner or later, I'd like to find a way to do the same for you invading my email. After all I put a stop to a "free" advertising campaign by pointing out a little known fact.

Would you believe that even in modern america many do not realize that tampering with a mailbox by anyone other than the owner is a felony? If you aren't a postal employee and you walk down a street stuffing things in mailboxes it's a felony! Look it up people it's on the books, and sooner or later someone will figure out how to punish spam pollution.
Sunday, February 25th, 2007
2:32 pm
Thursday, February 8th, 2007
11:59 am
very scary...intent to expose children
A college student who claims to have taken psychology classes and states she is studying to be a teacher told me point blank that she doesn't believe there is ANYTHING wrong with stalking someone. She said there wasn't anything wrong with her ethics either that this was a good point of view.

She also said she's on drugs issued by her psychiatrist.

All Parents who would want her teaching their young in that state of mind please raise your hand!

All parents who would go to great lenghts to keep her AWAY from their children while she is in that state of mind please raise your hands.

All parents or people who would want their child taught by a person who thought in that way please raise your hands!

That's what I thought...
Wednesday, February 7th, 2007
1:16 pm
Monday, December 18th, 2006
1:35 am
Photo shoot - Model - Angela
Graphic Intensive - 18 shots chosen for posting - low resolution versions posted

Twin fallsCollapse )
Thursday, November 9th, 2006
11:15 pm
Replying to a whisper
A quiet whisper on the wind,

pulls me back to light.

Muted voices reaching me,

Through the blackest night.

Saying seeing and knowing,

but they can not say,

all that flight has brought to me,

and of yesterday.

I take no harbor or rest,

from the violent storm.

I was meant to ride it through,

even when not warm.

Relief can not penetrate,

wind and icy rain.

Yet wings still glide and cary,

refusing to deign.

Throught the night I search weary,

for another soul,

Who groks blackness shinning bright,

keeping to it's role.

Webs we weave to make our life,

make us who we are.

When others change our weaving,

home becomes quite far.

recklass weave alteration,

things not understood...

destroying natural paths,

leads away from good.

The storm will at last abate,

and peace will be found,

When vermin learn the lesson.

the first path was sound.

Some are meant to change their tact,

others meant to stick,

If you take the light from night,

you make only nix.

Some doors can not be entered,

others no return,

turn back the clock to restore,

or watch the fires burn.

I will have things in my way,

as my spirit chose,

or bring full understanding,

to the hearts that froze.

I thank the ones shining bright,

that can not come close,

I give those from heart and soul,

blessings of a rose.
Thursday, October 26th, 2006
11:40 am
Someone suggested I do advertising
The thought was maybe I would be able to come up with jingles or snipets to make a living. It's hard to explain to a stranger how many companies would notice and fire people after a reviewing why I had such choice words...

Royal Caribbean Come on a cruise so guest services with your mind and say you had a good time running in circles. We will be happy to frustrate you and make sure you are unable to see Jamaica or any other destination you desire!

Royal Caribbean, where blinding with glitter and treating people like insignificant cattle is our specialty! Our guest relations staff can find ways to ruin your vacation while surrounded by beauty and services.

Fly American, where some flight attendants are more hostile and dangerous to the safety of you and your possessions than the terrorists! FFA isn't on the side of the passenger so keep your mouth shut!

Note: This is why this infrequent drinker always drinks when flying to keep myself calm in the face of close quarters and possibly really hostile attendants. Who is the jerk responsible for deciding a bloody mary is the only alcohol you can have in the morning? Vodka is just so....bleh...

Motrin, what's a little permanent damage and a few side affects if it helps you deal with the pain?

Ambien gets you to sleep effectively, who cares if you wake up after a couple of hours what do you expect for $125 a bottle?

Come stay at Hilton international, where buying a fifteen year old whore is encouraged more than trying to get coffee in your room in the morning.

Hilton International, where the service is so bad you will quickly want to explore the third world and find out even in the worst parts the people are more friendly and honest than we are!

Come to Seattle's Best coffee...We know we can't make anything other than a strong espresso shot right and the concept of anything else eludes us, but we will smile and insist you are happy!

Come dine at Mykonos for a unique cultural experience, after our waitress starts a fight with you, you will suddenly feel like you are in the streets of an unfamiliar country.

Buy RCA/Thompson, our products have the best features, if you can actually get them to work! GOOD luck calling us for help we don't care if it doesn't work and you can't get your favorite DVDs out!

Champion spark plugs, the best way to make your tractor break down or whimper at the worst time.

Shop at Wal-Mart for your home decorating needs, the curtain colors will make you sick, but the prices are unbeatable!

Just to let you know I do like GOOD products and services:

At Marriott we understand that not all goes as planned when traveling so we do our best to make you comfortable and get you what YOU want out of your travels!

Drink Coca Cola for the taste! Forget the negative health hype and consider this: It's often safer and better for you than tap water!

Starbucks: Wherever you go, and however frustrated you get, you can always count on getting a reliable cup of coffee!
Saturday, September 23rd, 2006
2:29 am
National security, hate crimes, and closet sadists
I believe that anyone that tricks someone into a harmful situation is responsible for that harmful situation. I believe those that lead people to destruction intentionally are criminals in deed even if not by law. I believe those that find reasons to intentionally bring harm to others are primitive in nature and follow the same sick mental process as rapists. Taking advantage of people on any scale is just as thoughtless regardless of manifestation.

In other words, it rewards the psyche in the same sick way. Even if the act is different the same part of the brain that allows rapists to enjoy rape allows people to enjoy their harmful actions. Anyone who repeatedly and knowingly engages in such types of behavior knowingly is feeding that mentality and making themselves ethically unacceptable.

Reading recent news it occurred to me that those who promote rape or violent interrogation methods could well be people who are trying to find ways to legalize sadism and have an excuse to do so without prosecution. If there is no judge determining who the "terrorist" is who decides who the intelligence community gets to rape in the name of "national security"? You may well find those same individuals have experience in sexual societies that promote "safe" sadism and have simply sought a new level of pleasure for themselves. Why waste all the time finding consenting adults when they can just join the national security bandwagon and accuse someone of being a terrorist? BTW Sadism goes far beyond simple sexual intercourse it exists on all levels. Many in history have been completely satisfied by simple sadism without sexual contact.

Without laws to protect people from being raped, severely harmed, or tortured in the name of "national security" by a group that insists that any classified information should not be allowed as evidence in any trial against them these groups are capable of violating any law in the name of national security without recourse. If they can't get a date with their favorite object of lust they just have to accuse them of associating with terrorists right?

You remember right after 9/11 we had a stream of incidents with screeners overstepping their bounds sexually with passengers? Well this time the situation in question is a community that claims even if someone is proven innocent they get to decide what evidence this person can use in court against them. Where is our system of checks and balances in this proposed process? What is to keep them from turning the average good looking person without money into their personal whore for six months while they "interrogate" them?

We have witnessed many groups throughout history who used religious, economical, cultural, or other justifications to engage in such behavior. Call and write your congressman and remind them of these facts and make sure they know you know what the bottom line is. Crimes against humanity are wrong regardless of how someone tries to justify them. Studies have been done showing that simple torture by denying sleep, food, or comfort is capable of making an individual say whatever the interrogator wants to hear in order to gain comfort or end the torture. Truth has little to do with someone being forced to say exactly what someone wants them to say through torture. Information is easily extracted using truth serum the purpose of torture is sadism or to force someone to tell a lie.

Why do I write these things? Because the American population in general hasn't been shouting loud enough about what they know is wrong to force politicians back into behaving in a legal way or enforcing reasonable behavior. If enough people were being honest about what is really going on it would change instantly. If you think it's far away from home think again. Every last law, human rights mandate, convention rule, and civil right that has been violated in the name of "national security" has worked itself back around to American citizens. They have been dismantling the Constitution through the patriot act and turning the U.S. into a third world dictatorship. The powers that be have been taking baby steps that should be stopped before it progresses too far. If enough people take off their blinders, and let go of the cultural paranoia and gullibility long enough to really understand the extremity of the news and what it means the real war (humanity versus profit and control) would be won quickly.

I have had a lot to say in recent months in reaction to things that have happened to me. I've been reading the news in awe. A few months ago I had a woman zoned out on psychotropic drugs tell me how wonderful the police that help keep sadist parties "safe" were and how they are always present at such functions. Good spokeswoman guys...thanks for helping me realize that is what's been going on. We have sadist deviants trying to take control.

Considering the current power of the U.S.. It behooves every citizen of every country in the world to fight the official U.S. denial of human rights vehemently.

U.N. debate marked by anti-U.S. sentiment
U.S. fatalities in war exceed those from Sept. 11

CIA agents ‘refused to operate’ at secret jails
Bush, GOP rebels reach accord on tribunal laws
GOP detainee deal gives flexibility for treatment

Please note the significance of these two articles:
Gonzales Pushes Lenient Hearsay Rules

GOP detainee deal gives flexibility for treatment

And I QUOTE "The GOP bill outlines specific war crimes such as torture and rape, but it also says the president can "interpret the meaning and application" of the Geneva Convention standards to less severe interrogation procedures. Such a provision is intended to allow him to authorize methods that might otherwise be seen as illegal by international courts."
"But, legal experts agree, in the end it will be up to the president to determine when most interrogation methods go too far. The bill bans detainees from protesting their detention and treatment in court."
Associated Press

Capitol Hill Blue's The Rant: Bush on the Constitution: "Just a goddamned piece of paper"
Saturday, August 26th, 2006
1:03 am
Wanted: Photographs, flyers, and possibly information about closed Austin clubs
http://www.samopc.com/ is looking for photos of Austin clubs that shut down. Pretty much any of them, more interested in the clubs than artists but if the artist shot shows the club that's good.

Some clubs on the hot list for the eighties and nineties are Cannibal club, Steamboat, and the Black Cat. Photos of all of the old clubs that shut down are wanted.

Personally I remember the Black Cat Lounge as a legend. There was nothing like it anywhere around. It was the only place run with a big city feeling and a small town welcome. Before memories fade...I'm issuing a challenge: Find The painting or photo in the eighties by a local artist of the front of the black cat lounge that was on display a few doors up from the Original Black Cat Lounge. Personally I think that any collection of closed Austin clubs without serious tribute to the lounge is incomplete.

Black Cat Lounge T-shirt

Web finds:
Direct picture links...
The lovely Sasha at the bar:



Information and news in General:


http://blackbirdshines.livejournal.com/7078.html (That's me before you get confused...

http://www.austinchronicle.com/issues/vol18/issue25/xtra.live_music_guide/feature.blackcat.html (In depth information about the Black Cat Lounge, ran by Paul Sessums, Roberta St. Paul, Paul Jr. ("Martian"), and Sasha (with a photo of Sasha)






http://www.soundclick.com/bands/Lyrics.cfm?BandID=157137&songid=1087730 "No info but may have multiple personal pictures of the club.

http://www.friendster.com/photos/580079 picture of Black Cat Bathroom door (outside)

(ROCK & ROLL CITIES: AUSTIN (VH-1) – Feb 1992 – Black Cat Lounge – clip of “Hot Blood”)

http://www.alicesrestauranttx.com/ The owner used to frequent the Black Cat Lounge. I tried sending an email I'm not sure it went through.

I made it up to about fourteen pages on a web search and my eyes are straining...
Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006
6:07 pm
Wednesday, August 16th, 2006
5:35 pm
Tuesday, August 15th, 2006
8:41 pm
Thursday, August 10th, 2006
6:25 pm
Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
10:51 am
Good Morning - Buenos Dias
Over time I have learned all too well that however improbable, some of the most strange things in the universe many people could imagine are completely possible. The Limit to this rule is that you can not get people in general to entertain the thought or accept the possibility of the improbable because (to inject some humor) it hurts their wittle heads.

Sometimes the world we live in is such that we can't always expect people to hear us or see what is in front of us. Empathy and awareness do not lend themselves to the modern world very well. It's important to remember that the laws of the universe mandate that all is revealed eventually. Sometimes those with closed eyes will crash into what they refuse to see whether we want them to or not.

Loosely En Espanol:
En un cierto plazo he aprendido que todos demasiado bien que sin embargo improbable, algunas de las cosas más extrañas del universo mucha gente podrían imaginar sea totalmente posible. El límite a esta regla es que usted no puede conseguir a gente en general entretener el pensamiento o aceptar la posibilidad del improbable porque (para inyectar un cierto humor) lastima sus cabezas del poco. A veces el mundo que vivimos adentro es tal que no podemos esperar siempre que la gente nos oiga o que vea cuál está delante de nosotros. Empathy y el conocimiento no se prestan al mundo moderno muy bien. Es importante recordar que los leyes del universo asignan que por mandato todo está revelado eventual. Ésos con los ojos cerrados se estrellarán a veces en lo que rechazan ver a si lo deseamos o no.
Tuesday, July 18th, 2006
5:29 pm
Saturday, June 24th, 2006
6:30 pm
Friday, June 23rd, 2006
7:01 am
When does obsession become religion?
I have long said that a person's own personal religion is a combination of their belief's and philosophies.

Many who say they have no religion do, even if it is sometimes unhealthy. A hater's religion is to hate. They don't care who they hurt or why, it's their own personal obsession to pass time and avoid the frustrations that make them feel helpless.

What I thought of this morning....
When does it cease to be a religion and simply become an obsession? When spiritual intent is lost? When it is unhealthy?

First we must define religion in order to answer that question.
What about "A system of guidelines for belief and behavior that allows for spiritual growth, development, and if truly embraced helps to define the core state of a perseon who follows it."?

What occured to me this morning, is where do we draw a line? When do malicious intent, greed, hatred, or lust serve to disqualify obsessions as religion? How can we give everyone the right to full freedom of religion while preventing it's abuse?

Tap, Tap, Tap....Anyone out there?
Tuesday, June 20th, 2006
4:25 am
Copied from simply_be who Stole it from Mel
Please leave me a comment (yes they are screened) with one or more of the following:
- a secret
- a criticism
- a crush
- a compliment
- a death threat
- a love note
- a song
- a picture
- anything else you want.

Then paste this in your journal for the fun to begin.

Tell me how you really feel. Comments screened. Will stay screened. Well, unless you want it unscreened.
Thursday, June 8th, 2006
7:20 pm
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